dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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