I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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