I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
