So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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