Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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