What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
