I think I died a long time ago.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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