the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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