Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
