its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
