can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
