gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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