I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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