i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
