A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
