just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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