Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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