I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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