He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
