And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
