we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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