Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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