She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize