dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
