i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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