Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
