If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just forgot I was standing up.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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