I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Randomize