every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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