yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
