Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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