at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
