omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
