I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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