so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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