I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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