Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
