So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
