evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i dont even know how to be here
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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