I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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