I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
