I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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