Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
