If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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