How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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