Only a mothe r could love this liver
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize