Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
