I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
