They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize