He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize