Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize