I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
