Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
