You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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