She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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