addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
