I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
