i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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