I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
