he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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