My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
